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After having 6 kids, my parents took a breather. Can’t blame them. Breather? With having to take care of 6 children, how could anything sound like a breather? Yeah, good point. Well, anyway six years passed and then voila! There I was. Precious, isn’t he.
My dad said I was mature even as a baby, like a real responsible adult. Not sure if that’s true and so I will accept that as he said it. As my life continued and I became a kid then a teenager then a man child, I always had a dream. A huge goal. It was what I used to get everywhere. I used it in school, knowing that school wasn’t my path. I used it to get by, survive. Then I was a grown up. I had children, a job, responsibilities and people who counted on me. That never felt bad to me. I suppose I was ready for that from a very young age.
I met the goal, or so it seemed. A strange thing was happening and I wonder if my being the baby of the family plays a roll. I never feel satisfied. In fact it always feels like every time I can reach the hoop, someone lifts it up an inch or two.
When I was a child in a house with 8 other people, there were times of joy and times of trouble. Those things came and went and I always had forever to solve any problems that may have occurred. Now I don’t feel like I have forever. I feel like I only have one problem to solve and I have to really figure it out soon, before I lose sight of the answer forever.
How do I become okay with my life results?! How do I look at my body and say, “Not bad.”? How do I listen to my records and say, “Dude, you fucking did it!”? When will I sit in a dressing room in Birmingham, England, knowing that I am about to perform to a beautiful group of people in a sold out O2 venue and look in the mirror and think, “Congratulation! You’ve come a long way.” Because all I do now is want more. I want to look better. I want to be better. I want to have more and more and more love till I explode. I read 10,000 things from people that say “I LOVE YOU, Pat” and then one that says,”Hey Pat You suck!” and I am filled with sadness to my bones.
Some say that I feel these things because I am an artist. I don’t feel like an artist. Some say I am the baby of the family and that’s the way that works. But I’m certainly not a baby of anyone’s family anymore. I’m just a man trying to do his best and breaking shit along the way.
I promise myself to stop taking things personally but then the time comes and I do the whole routine all over again. Then I commiserate with others and it feels better for a moment or two. I sometimes feel like I should call it quits and grow a garden. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing some good for people. Sometimes I could use a break. Sometimes I could use a friend. And sometimes I feel like I am not alone and that makes me feel a bit better.
I don’t know if I will ever solve this one. The only thing I can do is my best. I hope that everyone in my life always knows that I am always trying to do my best.

Pat

I keep writing blogs and tossing them out because I’m not clear enough in my words to you at the time.
I’ve written about the past and SF and Johnny Cash and all sorts of things but nothing has seemed worthy of sending.
I haven’t been ignoring you, I’ve just been cloudy in the point lately.
I have been super edgy too. I think it’s that I’ve never been busier than I am currently and I miss a lot of important people. They are the ones that rejuvenate me when I need strength to continue.
Being a music man is a lovely way of life and at the same time it’s grueling.
I wouldn’t trade it but at times I just need to air it out. Hope that’s okay.
I saw a light tonight in Austin.
I saw my future rise just like the lyrics in Landmine. Got to sing a Kris Kristofferson song in front of him tonight. Sang with Shelby Lynn and Amy Lee. And I was surrounded by the American backbone of music.
My friend Tisha Fein gave me a life changing opportunity by inviting me to a Johnny Cash tribute at Austin City Limits.
I am grateful to her and so many others.
I am so grateful that you are all expressing your love for our latest album.
We will always try to give you your money’s worth in all we do. We have enormous respect for you all and I hope you see that in our work and our shows.
Hoping great things for us all this year, mostly love and time together and time with the ones that rejuvenate us.

Love, Pat

Driving away from Nashville towards who knows where to write with a possible new friend. The further I get from town, the more snow and the less people. Yes, I said snow. I remember driving and driving and as you would expect I eventually had no reason to have a mobile phone because it was useless. I had to be somewhere later that evening, so what was In store was just a meeting perhaps. After 45 minutes or so there I was at the house that built him. And there he was. Along with his friendly smile and half a dozen horses, Alan greeted me at my rental car.
“Hey there, Pat. I’m Alan”. Okay, so far so good. I grabbed my computer and my everything shoulder bag and headed to a very small log..uh..room.
Small, quaint and kind of perfect for the snow setting and this kind faced country writer. “This is where I write. I can think here.” “Hmm, okay cool. I like it here”, I say. Head to the restroom, due to drinking 30 cups of tea and 76 Perrier’s. Thats when I feel music and melody come get me. Usually I like to not be the idea guy in other people’s environment. Your turf! Your ideas! Kinda always look at it that way. But today, I felt this little wooden writing cabin coming at me and I opened up to the idea that the “turf” was actually telling me what to do.
So simple really, when you think about it. Love always feels so good at first. Makes me melancholy when I think of the love lost with time. Our “stuff” catches up to us within the relationship and the love bank starts to run out of funds. Sad for the most part but beautiful if talked about in a gentlemanly manner with a bit of melody.
Sitting across from Alan and discussing these ways of describing love, new and old, I was very grateful for the long trip in and the unexpected cold, white obstacle. I was very grateful to leave there with this simple poem with a bit of melody and I was grateful for the time spent with a lovely man who has made my life better with his past song writing.
Haven’t spoken to Alan since but I believe we will meet again for some more lovely moments.
By the way, I must have cursed 4000 times, from excitement, while writing this song. Alan just grinned without judgement and did not once say one fucking swear word. Man, he’s a cool dude.
“Goodbye, Pat. So great to have met you. Hope to see you again”. Me too, man. For sure. Let’s do it.
So, today that piece of life and love got to all of you and from what I saw, there is much love ad enthusiasm for it. I am so grateful for that. Gives me great reason to see a new friend again.
I suppose there is always a favorite line in every song I write. This one has many. Stole a few and made a few but they all sound right to me. Maybe I think the line, “And you can’t get mad when some girl you think I had puts a story in your head, when I hardly know her.” is my favorite. Or maybe the “autumn” line. Or perhaps the “roped and tied”.(thanks, Elton or Bernie).

I’m starting to understand some things about life and love and I am finding it all quite beautiful.
Thank you for that.

Love, Pat

There aren’t better singers than Whitney Houston. Not now. Not ever.
She was very special. Sometimes the most fragile objects are the loveliest.
We have all missed that greatness that she has been keeping from us long before today when she moved on the the non-physical life. Being a prisoner of a substance is hard to overcome for us all.
I truly hope great things will come to her family after this. I know she has a young daughter and I hope that she will not spend her whole life trying to figure out what happened to her mom. These tragedies don’t come with answers. They are somehow here to teach us all about the split second we get here and remind us to live it with kindness and love and also to dig deep within to get the highest level of yourself while you’re here.
Whitney had such a gift. I remember meeting Al Green’s backup singers, an older gentleman in that small group. He heard me sing and said, “Congratulations for respecting your gift”. Today that means more than ever. I do respect it and will continue to be grateful at every moment. Gifts aren’t forever, especially the gift of life. I plan to treat mine with the utmost respect and appreciation.
I hope you are all safe and happy and treating your gifts and self like children. You deserve that.
We’ll all see you again someday, Whitney. Thank you for your greatness and sharing what you were great at. I hope you are no longer in pain.

Love, Pat

When I was a kid, I would watch award shows and see big music stars and big time actors saying they loved their fans. It always made me crack up, knowing none of them would ever go out of their way to give any of their fans the time of day. It’s actually kept me from saying I love my/our fans on shows because it always seemed cheap and easy to say but not easy to do. I think of it as I do photo ops in places that love celebrity faces to look like a legit cause. Easy to show up and pretend but who’s doing the “real work”?
Anyway, it’s close to us getting back on the road and I fucking LOVE train fans and I wanna prove it. No bullshit speech. I want to continue this growth of community of misfits. When a bunch of you came to our Erie show last year, I was so touched and felt so blessed and special that I couldn’t express it. I got to sit with you for a while so I loved that I was able to personally thank you. When I say I love someone or something, count on it being true. I don’t look for opportunity with words of the heart. I find it very jive and pretentious and mean spirited to do so.
So as we embark on our next adventure, I will be getting to know and personally thanking even more of you in many different ways. I sincerely thank you from myself and my family and Train for this outrageously beautiful life you have provided us. If there is ever a time that you do not feel that sincere gracefulness from me, let me know so that I can get better at it.
I have many life obligations but none bigger than being personally grateful.
I am truly sending a flood of love to you all from a humble and sincere place. You all mean everything to me, young and old as hell.
I am determined to prove you all right for loving me and Train in the first place!!

Love, Pat

Then I will live to a very old age. I was just with ALL of my brothers and sisters for the first time in ten years. That was Thanksgiving just before my mom passed away.
So, there we were in Erie, PA to be with my dad during a pretty scary time for all of us due to his health struggle at 85 years old. He’s always been indestructible and now he isn’t and it’s strange for my entire family.
My dad is a pretty wonderful guy. Everyone knows and loves Jack Monahan. If you don’t, you just haven’t met him. He’s always had a youthful twinkle in his eye that I recognized early on in my life. People gravitate to him and love to listen to his stories and his hilarious points of view about life. But yesterday the world slowed to a crawl as we held our breathe hoping for his friends of yesteryear to hold off on taking him so we could have more time soaking in the goodness that is Jack.
He has always loved this life. Not knowing what’s next was never really part of what he spent much time reflecting on. He loves the now, here, right here where the action is.
He has taught me so much about word use and what’s compelling. He’s very hard to impress by the arts and when he is impressed, his reasons are well thought out and passionate and filled with admiration.
His generation was astonishing. The wars they won. The inventions they came up with. The character that they had as a whole. They lived by a code. A code of class that could never stoop for any reason ever. What a generation! What a story. What a man.
He and my mother had seven kids. I was last. We told stories around my dad today and filled him full of the light that he had filled us with all these years.
His heart was pulling him down but his spirit was lifting him up.
He taught us to laugh and never take ourselves or life too seriously. That was for the unwise. We were to be beyond that. These lessons all came silently. We just watched a humble man make a living with great charisma and personality and were able to get the whole picture that he was painting.
I was wishing today that all that laughter could help him live forever but as we all well know who gets the last laugh.
I am grateful for the great friendship that I have been able to have with my dad. I hope that these past few days experiences will bring the seven of us closer and give all of our children reasons to get together in the future and remember this great man. I hope that he will be around for many more years but either way he will live inside of us as our mother does, reminding us what is truly of value that costs nothing and adds decades to your time here.

Love, Pat

Drive By is out and what a great response you have all giving it. It’s a side of the band on our new record that is a lot of fun and up beat in a way that reflects the new energy of Train.
For those of you who were counting on a more reflective side of the band, there is plenty on the new CD. We’ve always made records that are kind of divided in two parts, A side and B side. It’s old school thinking but it’s hard to break that habit.
We cut a couple songs today at Butch Walker’s studio and they sound kind of like The Band meets Train meets James Taylor meets Led Beatles. You know what I’m talking about, right? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, there is a lot of fun up beat stuff coming and also singer songwriter vibe as well plus we are a band, so it sounds like a band.
I’m very excited about what we’re doing. I wish I could invite you all in to the studio.
We are putting together period of time we will be spending in SF playing some old joints we came up in and also we are still brain storming about a listening party that I had mentioned a while back in one of my blogs. We’ll fill you in when we figure it all out.
One more thing I wanted to say is that I’m very happy that Jason Mraz’s single is #1 on iTunes. It’s real good and I like where that guy is coming from. Seeing him and Adele and Train charting on iTunes is pretty crazy after all the changes that music has made over the past 15 years.
I appreciate those changes.
I appreciate our own evolution musically. And I mostly appreciate you all being here to be the biggest part of what’s good about Train and our music.
Train fans are the kinds of people that being around just makes you feel better about being on this orb.
Sending healing love out there.
Especially for my pops.

Love, Pat

There’s a moment when you paddle out to sea, just before the wave in front of you breaks, it seems like both you and the ocean hold your breathe and you leap into one another. I feel like I am in that state of mind a lot these days. I’m waiting to leap in and hope for the best. When you rise up to catch another breathe there is both great relief and exhilaration. Salt in your eyes, morning calm, quiet. Then again, hold, dive, breathe. I’m tired thinking about this. It’s been a few years since I even surfed but the memory never leaves. I miss the fear. I miss the vibration of the water at 6AM.
I have time.
Time has me.
We will leap together again.
Knowing that we are both fragile yet one of us will always be the victor.
I will be there where the motion is pure and fluid and the world has paused.
These days have been filled with caution. I am ready for 2012 to really take over now as a leader would a week or so after taking power.
Take us to this new vibration of love, twenty twelve.
I think I’m going to start calling you guys this year. Once in a while I will randomly call someone and say thank you. We can all call one another in 2012. You in ?

Love, Pat

I stopped drinking about 16 years ago. That’s about the time music actually started to become a possible future for me. Every since then though, I have not had an epic New Years Eve.
I’m thinking that it’s just a strange time for me in general but this year was just as weird as the past 15. Not complaining, just sharing a part of my life outside of music.
It feels like this evening before the year changes over is kind of filled with lots of stress and expectation. I made a great dinner. Had family around and watched the ball drop. Pretty standard. Then I stressed on a few people and let things that had piled up come out in a blaze of frustration. Seriously, a glass of Drops of Jupiter could have mellowed me out. Starting to seriously think that New Years Eve should be my one alcohol day of the year. We’ll see.
In general, I’m wound pretty tight. I love the laughs of life but damn I just can’t chill these days. What am I so upright about? Relax! Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
That’s better. No its not. I’m in a hotel in Miami so I can’t really scream. Doing the Orange Bowl half time tomorrow. Very exciting. Such great people running the whole thing. I’m really impressed with this event and how it is run.
Okay, I vented a bit and I thank you for allowing that. New music and new lots of stuff coming very soon.
Hope you are all being loved and having a great 2012 so far.
Love and miss you all, except that one guy. Ha. Kidding.

Pat