Years ago I had a great therapist. Her name is Judi. She is a really special person and she was the start of a large transformation for me. I am forever indebted to her. I should call her more often to thank her and give her my love. Anyway, I mention her because I’ve been wondering why people behave the way they do. Why do we treat one another the way we do? Why do some relationships work and others don’t? Why do I entertain the way I do? Why do managers manage the way that they do? I then remember the process that Judi helped me go through and I’m going to share it. It really opened my eyes. Maybe you will find something interesting in her theory(that I claim as my own when I think I can get away with it).
A few years ago I often wondered why I was so unhappy. I felt as though I was draining every ounce of ‘try’ and ‘love’ from myself to give to others and it was getting me absolutely nowhere. Why, Judi, why??
Her response, as best as I can remember was, “We give others what we want in return. The problem with this is that just because its what we want, it doesn’t mean that its what the person we’re giving it to wants.” This made a jygundous impression on me.
Of course! There it is, the answer to all things human. Why are we who we are? Because we know, for the most part, what it is that we want and that conditions us to give what we want. We attract like minded others and eventually we grow more alike or more different.
**********this next part is NOT a judgement*******************
I became sober during this time and it had been so long since I wasn’t getting hi or drunk that I never really knew who I was or what it was that I wanted. My addictions just turned into other addictions after that, like work and running, etc. All much better for you, I’m told.
So, there it is! The answer to “us”. We are what we eat and we want what we do. Huh? It kinda makes all the sense in the world, doesn’t it? The Universe is ingenious.
I’m a hundred percent sure that this theory has as many holes in it as a colander but at least its a damn theory. And its really frickin late, so that’s what ya get for late…and free. Ha. Good night.