PatBlogahan.com

everything seems as though I’m viewing it from sleepy eyes. It’s all a bit dreamy and distant. The calm of not being in a tour bus is met with the business of being in a good sized family. There is always so much to do. I’m not the sort that has a nanny not the type that smokes a pipe and looks up over his glasses at conversations while reading the Wall Street Journal. The haze, I assume, is the transition from a life of fantasy(tour) to a life of reality(home).
Why are my current dreams so strange? I was writing songs for Simon Cowell the other day. Huh? I made a flat, weird taffy that night as well. Not sure what that symbolism means but it’s very odd.
Living most of my adult life traveling, in and out of airports, on buses, cabs, any sort of thing that moves, is slightly off balance when it comes to a halt. A normal existence takes place in a neighborhood, not a Prevost. For me, the lack of movement seems a bit out of whack in ways that are hard to explain. I love the stillness. I need it. I adore being with the people I love. I often think of settling down into a farm setting and cooking for people non stop. My friend, Ryan Scott(a great San Francisco chef and restauranteur) does it. Ah but then I remember that he was born to do that. I was made for something else.
I’ve been prepping myself lately to gear up into “writing mode”. I’m kind of a slacker about it right now. No real drive to get those stories out there. It’s like my subconscious is telling me that doing nothing is the short cut to something special, meaning don’t force it. Those ideas don’t ever pan out for me. So, I’m in a foggy daydream instead, thinking about writing a play, a movie, a tv program, a strange album of Kate Bush/Bjork sounding songs. Then it passes and I play with my children and get lost in the perfect beauty that is around me.
I miss my dad.
I miss my mom.
Seeing these little ones that they were unable to even meet is sad to me. My parents were older when I was born. Now they are somewhere else finding real estate in the clouds, getting things ready for their friends and loved ones.
But damn! Just a few more weeks. That would be so cool. Pick a week. Trade a week. Some type of deal that could be made with the afterlife.
Hey, Goddess of Awesomeness, I will trade a week of my time for a week of a healthy, happy parent to meet my little ones. “Deal!”
Aw but no. That’s not romantic. Finality is. Great things have endings. In fact everything has an expiration date. All for the best I suppose. Romance. Life is romance. The ultimate hit song, blockbuster, NY Times best seller.
Tomorrow I will be in Knoxville. A lovely spot filled with terrific people and memories. Then New York City and then my son’s first birthday.
I will make my way to Amsterdam and The UK after that and then settle in for a restful few stints around the US. It never really stops for me. I may complain but I would have it no other way.
For these things I am grateful.
You have made me a part of your lives and I appreciate that entirely.
There are so many things to chose from these days. So many ways to spend your time and your money. The fact that you chose me and my band to do so is a life altering, mind blowing act of goodness.

So, as always, thank you and I will see you soon.

Love, Pat